National unfriend day

Last Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmell promoted a national day for unfriending people on facebook. I haven’t been on facebook in months. I can’t help wondering if anyone unfriended me that day. 🙂 I can’t say that I know how many facebook friends I had, so maybe I’ll never know…

5k

I actually ran a 5k this summer. I’m not athletic in the least, but I wanted to shake things up. It’s a quarter mile around my yard, so it was the perfect course (or so I thought) to gradually work my way up.

I followed the Couch-to-5k program.

My advice is to train on the same surface you intend to run on. I trained on grass, but on the big day, I ran on pavement, and it kicked my ass. I was the last runner to finish. Even some of the walkers beat me! I wasn’t prepared to see a mom pushing a stroller right past me.

That was in August. I haven’t exercised since, and I gained all the weight back. Any advice on a good exercise program to follow?

Random tweets I didn't send

Here are some random tweets that I didn’t send because I was driving (keepin’ the roads safe, y’all) or too lazy to punch them out on my un-QWERTY telephone keypad.

  • At a 4-way stop. The woman next to me thought she had the right of way despite being to my left and arriving after me. She thought wrong.
  • I just got honked at for letting someone merge in front of me. Nice. Go back to Ohio.
  • Seth has a Lightning McQueen pail stuck on his head.
  • I keep the words “lightning” and “lightening” straight by remembering that “lightning is what storms do” and “lightening is what Michael Jackson did.”
  • Just witnessed a woman pretend to be mentally disabled while she and her trashy-looking boyfriend made a scene at Walgreens.
  • Seth asked me to change his shirt b/c it was wet. With drool. 3-yr molars, I presume.

My sister says I don't post enough

And she’s going to read that headline and think, “No, I said you need to post something new. There’s a difference.”

Not only have I been superlazy about this blog, I’ve been lax in my commenting. Thanks to Almighty Google’s RSS feed, I’ve been reading everyone, but I have left any comments. (For shame.) I’ve even fallen behind on Facebook. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

So I might as well document that Seth is a horse. 95th percentile in weight and 98th in height. I even did the unthinkable by asking for clothes for him for Christmas. I shop garage sales all summer to stock up, but this summer I stocked up on 4T, and then he moved from 3T to 5T over the course of about six weeks during autumn. Hmpf. Didn’t see that one coming.

Christmas was fun. Bob coached Seth on how we had to leave the fireplace doors open on Christmas Eve so Santa could come inside. It was the cutest.

I got a Pride and Prejudice graphic novel for Christmas, and my sister made a point of getting me old stuff off my Amazon wishlist because she was sick of looking at it. 🙂

Tribute to Grandpa

My grandpa passed away a week ago today. This short story was my contribution to his eulogy at the wake on Friday. I wasn’t able to hold myself together to say it myself, so I’m eternally grateful to my Aunt Chris, who read it for me:

Grandpa loved seeing his great-grandkids, and even when my son, Seth, was a little shy because he hadn’t seen his Jaja in a month or two, Grandpa could always coax him over with the promise of a high five. The last time Seth saw his Jaja was the Saturday before he died. He gave Grandpa a high five, and Grandpa gave him a $5 bill because he said a high five “ought to be worth five dollars, one for every finger.” Even at three years old, Seth knows that money is a really great thing to get, so he stuffed it into his pants pocket in a little wad for safekeeping. Later that night, I retrieved it from his pocket. It’s still balled up in a little wad, and I’ll keep that $5 bill for Seth as a memento of his Jaja who loved him so much. Goodbye, Grandpa. Seth and I will miss you.

Got a new secretary

Seth can answer the phone now. Last Thursday, it was ringing while I was in the shower, so he helpfully brought it to me. After it stopped ringer, the caller tried back on my cell phone, and even though I told him it was okay, that’d I get it in a minute, his face showed such concern about that ringing phone, and he ran over to get it. This time, he actually answered it—or rather, he opened it and started breathing into it.

The caller knew I had a little boy. “Seth? Is that you?”

“Yeah.”

“Hi, sweetie. How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Is your mommy there?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Yeah.”

Mr. Monosyllable handed me the phone and ran off. So there you have it: that was the first time he answered the phone.

My brain hurts

How could anything think this would be a good idea?

A legally insane killer was on the loose in the state of Washington on Saturday, two days after he escaped during a field trip to a county fair, authorities said.

[Phillip] Paul, 47, escaped from the fair around noon, which launched the massive manhunt and brought criticism from many, including state government officials. Sheriff’s officials told CNN affiliate KREM-TV that Paul also escaped briefly in 1991 and assaulted a law enforcement officer.